Why Group Relationships Are Ineffective

Hi Group Leaders,

Thanks for taking a minute to stay-up-to date on what's happening in Community Groups at Northridge!

Communion Reminder

We would love all groups to pick a week to celebrate communion together the 1st or 2nd week of May.

We have a supply of communion elements for any group that would like some. Just reply to this email if you'd like some for your group and we'll get them to you. First come, first serve.

Do Community Group Relationships Really Make a Difference?

A few weeks ago I raised this question, "Do Community Group Relationships Really Make a Difference?". Maybe you've found yourself wondering whether it is worth your time to attend or lead a Community Group, especially when you already have other good relationships in your life outside of group.

In my first post, I talked about 1 reason Community Groups relationships are not very effective: We focus on meetings over relationships.

Read Part 1 HERE. In the article I emphasize the importance of connecting relationally both inside and outside of group meetings.

I think we would all agree, the more time we spend with someone, the more of an impact they will have in our lives, positively or negatively.

"We can impress people from a distance, but we can only impact them up close." - Howard Hendricks

We see the impact of close relationships throughout scripture:

• The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray. - Proverbs 12:26

• As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.- Proverbs 27:17

• Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. - Proverbs 13:20

The difference your group relationships will make is going to be limited if:

• your group meetings are infrequent (reconsider canceling that meeting)

• group attendance is inconsistent (which has been more of the case for many groups since COVID)

• you don't talk outside group

• you don't text

• you don't see each other on Sundays

• you don't get together outside of group

So, when we ask the question, "Do Community Group relationships make a difference?," much of the answer to that question depends upon how much time we are spending with each other!

If you are seeing limited fruit and life change inside your group, it could be do to the lack of relational connection outside of group.

But here you may be raising the tension:

"I get it, if I don't spend much time with my group members, our relationships are not going to be as impactful, but who has that much time? I've already got other good relationships with family and friends. Why shouldn't I just focus on those relationships instead of trying to spend more time with the people in my group?"

That's what we'll discuss next time.

What do you think? Do Community Group relationships make a difference? Are they worth our time and investment? What would you say?

I'd love to hear your thoughts as I attempt to answer those questions. Email me HERE.

How Can We Help?

How are you doing? Is there anything we can help with? Reply to this email or reach out to your coach.

If you haven't had a chance to meet up with your coach about how your group is doing and what's next for your group, we'd love to connect.

Upcoming Community Group Dates

• Spring Community Group Trimester: April 3 - May 28th (8 Weeks)

• Red Wings Baseball Game (Group Leader Thank You): Friday, June 3, 7:05pm (RSVP HERE)

Keep up-to-date with what happening in our group ministry on the Group Leader's Website, Facebook Group, and Podcast.

Additional Resources

How COVID Has Affected Our Friendships—and What to Do About It

Only Half of My Group Showed Up Last Night

9 Ideas To Change Up Group This Week

How Do You Get People To Show Up To Group?

Do Community Group Relationships Make A Difference?

Communion In-Group (Instructions)

How do you get people to show up to group?

Have you ever received the name of a prospective group member who never showed up to your group? Maybe a staff member sent you a name and contact info or someone expressed interest in your group online. You reached out to them, but they never showed up. 

Maybe your group roster has more people who don't show up than people that actually attend. When you arrive to your Community Group, you end up being more discouraged about those who didn't show up than encouraged about those who came. 

So, how do you get prospective group members or the people on your roster to attend? 

While we can't control people or make decisions for them, here are 2 steps that will help move people from your group roster to your living room.

1. Practice the Rule of 3

What is the Rule of 3? It is simply reaching out to prospective group members 3 times, with 3 different contact methods (phone, text, email), over 3 different weeks. 

• Week 1 - Call within 24-48 hours

  • Strike while the iron is hot before they psych themselves out or convince themselves that joining a group is a bad idea. 

  • It can be nerve racking to call someone on the phone you don't know, but it is a much more engaging and thorough form of communication than an email or a text. Hearing your voice will help them feel more like they know you before they show up for the first time.

  • If they don't answer the phone, leave a voicemail and then send a follow up email with the group details. Less and less people check their voicemail these days, so an email increases the likelihood they hear from you right away.

• Week 2 - Send an email

  • If you still have not heard from them about attending your group, send them an email with the details about your group and ask if they are still interested. Asking them if they are coming encourages them to take an action step, to respond and hopefully commit.

• Week 3 - Send a text

  • I am blown away at how many people will never respond to a call or an email, but they will respond to a text almost immediately. For people who never check their voicemail or email, there is a notification sitting on their messaging app awaiting their response.

If they do respond and let you know they plan to attend, encourage them to meet you on Sunday before your next group so they have at least one familiar face their first week of group.

We practice this same Rule of 3 on our Connections Team at Northridge. When people express interest in taking next steps we have found this process very helpful to move them from interest to participation.

2. Share the Load

Make a goal that everyone on your group roster gets a touch every week via a text, call, or in person.

One of the best ways to make sure you are able to effectively connect with the people on your group roster is divide up your roster for shared follow up. 

When you assign each Group Leader several names, it enables you to focus on a few rather than everyone. You may even ask other mature group members to help with follow up. 
 

Neither of these steps guarantees people will show up to your group, but it helps you know you've done your due diligence in reaching out. It also lets group prospects know there is a group for them when they are ready to take that step.

Looking for more ideas? 
 
Listen to the Reaching One breakout on how to find and keep new people.

 

Resources On Sex

As you discussed this past weeks sermon about sex in your group, you may have come across some issues or questions you are not sure how to handle. Below are a few resources you may find helpful. Please contact your coach if we can be of further help.

• Putting Your Past In It's Place (Book)
• Equip Resources On Sex (Website/Articles/Videos)

Jason DeGraaff
Community Groups Pastor
Life is better connected!